“I have been in a relationship for almost two years with a man I love tremendously. It has been on and off during those almost two years. He had a problem with honesty and recently finally got honest with me, I knew the truth my gut told me. I’m not sure this is where I belong. We can’t seem to let go of each other for very long. I’m struggling with trust issues with him. He saw how much I suffered over the last year because he couldn’t get honest with me. Is this where I belong or do I need to move on with my life to find the man I am supposed to be with?”
There is much confusion around this issue, and it seems like your getting opinions from everywhere. You have trusted your gut instincts in the past and have not been lead wrong, so why do you doubt yourself now? I will tell you that this needs to be your decision, though. Advice from others is nice, but sometimes it can be too much. I think this might be one of those times. You need to listen to yourself on this one, or you could regret the decision later and even become a little resentful to those pressuring you now. They love you, no doubt, and of course they want the best for you. But, again, this must be your decision.
Have you already wasted two years of your life with this man? Should you stay so it doesn’t seem like a waste, not wanting to give up on a two year investment? Well, I can promise you this relationship wasn’t a waste of time. If you think about it, I’m sure you’ll find a few different things that you learned about yourself … maybe even a few major things. Sometimes a soul mate comes into our lives for reasons other than marriage, and I feel that may be the case here. As things stand now, I do not see marriage to this man in your future. If you want that to change, it can be changed. However, I would ask myself how much is okay to change a person before they are no longer themselves.
When I look at possible romantic relationships with others, I only see clouded images. It seems to me that you are too entrenched in the current situation for anything to be clearly seen at this time. What this means is that, even if you do break things off with your current relationship, you have some personal healing and growth to work on before seeking out a new relationship. By the way, I do believe once you do find that relationship, the man you are currently with will try to seep back in to your life. You will need to have some strength and willpower to stay on course during that time. Your best course of action will be to remember why you have chosen the way you did and what you truly want and deserve in a relationship.
I have seen it before that a man can change to earn the woman he loves, but it’s not good to just accept what has happened. If you were my friend, I would tell you to break it off. Miracles happen every day, and this could be an opportunity for him to decide what he wants his life to be and how important you are to him. If he doesn’t seize that opportunity, however, you have to be willing to move on. This places the decision where it needs to be … in his lap.
As a professional, my advice to you is to completely clear your head as much as possible. Then, find a comfortable and quiet place to draw out your dream guy. You can think about hair color and other physical traits if you wish, but focus on listing personality traits. Then list things you like to do with your spare time. Now compare this information with the personality traits of the man you are currently with. Does he fit what you’re looking for? How does he blend with who you are? This should help you make your decision, which again does need to be yours. And, when he does come back into your life, you’ll have more strength in knowing whether or not he’s the man you need or just the man you needs you.
Wishing you Blessings in Love and Life,
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