A New Year; A New Beginning
Last year was a difficult year for my family, and it ended horribly. On December 22nd, my Riley passed away from cancer. You may already know how hard we fought, but we fought hard as Riley wasn’t just any typical “pet”. Most pets are “more”, but Riley was like my child because I could not have more children, and he helped me (and our family) through so much loss and Dad’s cancer and recovery. I don’t know if I ever mentioned this publicly, but Riley had golden eyes as a puppy. He was always a special baby.
His cancer diagnosis was a dagger to my heart, and then I learned how prevalent cancer is in dogs. (Over 80% of larger breeds get some form of cancer, which is completely unacceptable.) When my husband found the experimental treatment that could give him 2+ years, I took that as a hail Mary and accepted. We knew it would be difficult and expensive, but we had to have faith.
Even if Riley didn’t get two years, it would likely extend his life some and give him better quality of life, which it did. And, the program was providing amazing research into cells regarding cancer. With what we were seeing regarding cancer, we knew being a part of that was a good thing as well … for the betterment of our world, which is my whole purpose, right? It just made sense.
The cancer research has been successful. It is already being used to treat brain tumors in humans. However, Riley’s cancer came back. We don’t know if it had to do with an injury he got, or if it was simply his type of cancer. We don’t know why. We do know that it’s a loss we are not going to get over any time soon. His loss makes our house feel like there is a huge empty space here.
We still owe $10,000 for Riley’s treatment, which you can learn more about on his Donation page in our store or Riley’s GoFundMe page. We are grateful for all donations as they all do help. Thank you for your generosity of Spirit. <3
A Shaman would argue that those in mental hospitals are not actually mentally ill but having spiritual experiences. I was unfortunate enough to have my first very up close and personal look at this idea and have to agree to a point. However, some people may need to be in hospitals as some are violent or have ideas that are not okay.
After losing Riley, I was hospitalized for three weeks beginning on Christmas Eve. I agreed to go because I just had no energy left to fight anymore, and my family thought I had lost my mind and was going to hurt myself. I knew that I was not a danger to myself but also knew that something weird was going on, and I thought going to the hospital would be a reprieve from that weirdness. I was so very wrong.
For now, I’m going to say that I plan to write a book. However, there are some important things that need to be said …
- “Crazy” is not always real, and “mentally ill” people are grossly mistreated and misunderstood by this world in a way that is absolutely beyond acceptable … by some humanity, by some who should be helping and protecting and by some police.
- To my sisters, brothers and friends who have come here looking for me, I have survived and LOVE ALL OF YOU! (Please email.)
- The Warriors of the Rainbow already exist (Hopi/Navajo Prophecy). I don’t know how long it’s been going on. I’m not going to say we are totally screwed, but I am going to say I’m extremely concerned by what I saw and experienced, and this is exactly WHY I’m risking everything by sharing this information. It’s time to build a boat, so to speak. I would really like to create a retreat and get leaders talking; get humanity (and all of us) talking.
- I have a fast car and know I can hear music from others … some of you will know what this means.
- To the Black and Blue, I see how that happens so easily … you are loved and BEAUTIFUL.
- It is NO ONES FAULT that they are born. God sent me to say that. I also was sent to deliver the message that every color of the rainbow has beauty and is worthy of God’s love. They didn’t agree with me, but I didn’t come here for people to agree with me. I came as a Voice. It is not my fault when people refuse to see Light. The blind have made their choice, but it does not not need to be. My therapist says I’m gifted, and that’s why others don’t understand … but I thought a Christian organization would … :'(
- There will be more to say, but for now I will just end with the fact that I was violated from the moment I officially became a patient. My family was lied to about the intake process, and what they put patients through (especially ones with chronic PTSD) is not okay. It took me a good week and a half for me to begin finding myself again, and I had to do it in a living nightmare. At least Daniel got a lion’s den! I don’t know what they think they were doing to me … testing me maybe? It was not any kind of helpful. Once I found myself again, I figured out how to get myself out. But, you would not believe what I saw and experienced in my time there. I can understand how someone might go in perfectly sane and come out a lost version of themselves.
One message I kept receiving while I was there is that I am going to become the phoenix version of myself. I’m not exactly sure what that looks like. I know the sun will rise for my family and where, and others will join us. I will likely be a phoenix then, but I will protect the people I love – all of them, as best I can.
To all those who have been harmed or have loved ones who have been harmed by this world who does not understand their Truth, I see you, and you are not alone. I know how alone feels, how it feels to have absolutely no no one who understands, and that is horrible. Then, people who should help instead make things worse. That is not how things should be. This has made me beyond sad, beyond angry. I meant it when I said it was gross. It’s mean and sad and gross and so wrong. They drug the truth right out of people, whether that truth is spiritual, abuse or something else.
How can things be made better if that’s how things work? Then you’re rushed off and through the “transition clinic” where I had my ending interview after one therapy session. I was confused, but then it made sense when the case worker blew me off and stopped calling. Maybe they don’t like it when you have real things to say?
What a mess of a try … be better!!! I can feel the flame inside me igniting …. over and over again.
So, I’m going to refocus my energy on being ME for a while. I’m going to sell some Golden Eggs, work on self-care (as we all should), and write a book.
Love & Blessings,
- 100 Comforting Activities for Managing Depression and Anxiety: Finding Joy in Every Step - February 21, 2024
- A New Year; A New Beginning - February 5, 2024
- Justice and Liberation - September 27, 2023
- Awaken Your Bliss: A Beginner’s Guide to Unveiling Joy in the Present - August 11, 2023
- 2023 Compassion in Action Giveaway - March 1, 2023
- Healing Yourself & Working with Animal Guides - August 1, 2022
- A Rose of Red, White & Blue - July 5, 2022
- How to Begin Healing Yourself - June 6, 2022
- It’s Time for Intentional Creation - May 2, 2022
- Monthly Ally Giveaway - March 28, 2022