Practical Tips For Enhancing
Your Marital Relationship
from our Angel Messenger Creative Team
Marriage is a beautiful relationship where two people get a chance to grow together both individually with that understanding and as a couple. Looking at the staggering number of divorces in the western world, it seems like we are definitely not doing some things right.
Let us discuss some of the ingredients that when effectively combined create a great marriage.
Foster a Desire to Give
In an ideal marriage, both people would be equally spiritually, mentally and emotionally mature. Communication would be seamless as both people would have already reached a heightened state of spiritual development before they chose to enter the partnership. However, this is usually not the case.
If you want a magnificent marriage, then you have to master the art of loving unconditionally. This means making an effort to understand what your partner’s needs are and meeting them as best as you can without expecting anything in return.
This isn’t the same as allowing yourself to become a doormat. Every time you decide to do something for your partner, ask yourself what your intentions are. Are you expecting anything in return? Are you okay with doing it even if there wasn’t as much as an acknowledgment for what you are doing?
The point here is to do for another only that which comes from your heart. This way you will never hold a grudge or turn resentful towards your partner. Love should always be its own reward.
Don’t forget that whatever we choose to give to others comes back to us multiplied. If you are giving unconditional love to your partner, then it will definitely come back to you. However, the trick here is to release all expectations and to live with the understanding that the only thing we can ever possess is the love that we choose to give.
Understand Your Own Needs
A good marriage is a safe place where you can ask your partner to help you get what your heart most desires. However, don’t forget that your wishes might not always be honored.
Nevertheless, learning to communicate your needs without any finger-pointing and blaming is an art in which you have to become deft if you are striving for a successful marriage.
I highly recommend reading Willard F.Harley’s His Needs Her Needs to identify what it is that you are seeking in a marriage. Once you have identified it, the next step is to learn to communicate with your partner in a language that he or she understands.
It’s difficult to cover the nuances of great communication within the scope of this article. I highly recommend checking out John Gray’s classic book, Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus to understand the different ways in which men and women communicate.
An example of effectively communicating your needs would be this: Let’s say you feel like your partner keeps cutting you in-between while you are speaking.
Instead of getting upset and lashing back, you can choose to say, “I find it difficult to keep track of my thoughts when I’m interrupted while speaking. I know you have a lot of valuable information to share and I would honestly love to hear your thoughts. I would find it helpful if you could let me finish speaking what’s on my mind so that I can give 100% of my attention to listen and understand what you have to share.”
You want to always focus on how YOU are feeling and not how you think your partner is making you feel. Finger-pointing makes the other person defensive and abysmally reduces the chances that what you want would be given to you.
Speak Your Partner’s Love Language
Every person understands and expresses love differently. What might hold a lot of value for you as an act of love might not mean the same to your partner.
I highly recommend taking a love language test to identify your own love language and your partner’s. With that understanding, tell your partner what you have discovered about yourself. Encourage them to also find out their own love language.
Tell your partner what makes you feel loved and what does not. Instead of just assuming that he or she would understand what you want without your saying a word, give them a roadmap.
This isn’t the same as making a demand. You are simply helping them understand you better. You are not saying that they ‘must’ or ‘should’ do the things that you would like them to do. You are just giving them a chance to love you in a way that makes you feel truly honored and appreciated.
The Ultimate Secret to a Successful Marriage
At the end of the day, communication is the key to a wonderful partnership. Learning to talk in a language where you are able to express what you want without making demands or without attacking your partner is the secret to a successful marriage.
Make the effort and you will surely be rewarded!
Advice for Singles
If you are still single, then I would advise that you enter a new partnership only when you have done ample work on yourself. Don’t marry someone thinking that he or she will solve all your problems and you will live happily ever after. That’s a recipe for disaster which is guaranteed to bring nothing but unhappiness.
You must be fully content with your life and have a very clear understanding of your own needs. Enter a relationship only when you feel that you already have so much joy in your life that now you are ready to share it with someone else.
You have to feel complete within your own self in order to attract a spiritually evolved partner. In such a partnership, both people will have a chance to experience great joy as neither believes the other to be the source of his or her happiness.
At the same time, both people understand that together their joy gets multiplied and, as a result, their life overflows with sweetness.
Much Love & Angel Blessings,
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