As some of you may already know, my husband and I had to pull our offer on the house we planned to purchase in Fowlerville. This last week, our inspections were completed. Luckily, the homeowner came home early, and we had a chance to talk to her. Before we even placed a bid on this house, my husband called several internet companies to be sure we would have high speed internet. Cable wasn’t available, but a certain DSL company confirmed they were able to offer high speed internet at that residence. However, after speaking with the homeowner, we found this information was incorrect. She actually laughed because this company had told her the same thing, until they came out to her house and told her they couldn’t offer the service after all. The only internet available was dial-up, which she currently had, or satellite. After several more phone calls, we had to face facts. Satellite internet is absolutely horrible and ridiculously expensive. Not having reliable high speed internet would severely cripple my work as well as my husband’s. We were already sacrificing on the location, knowing my husband would have to drive close to an hour to and from his day job. After learning we would have to give up a large part of our businesses as well, we had to pull our offer.
Like most professionals in my field, I can’t read for myself. But, looking back, I’m angry with myself that I didn’t see the signs. We listened too much to the advice and opinions of those around us, and we were settling. When I did an online angel card reading for myself, two specific cards kept coming up. One said that we needed to set our sights higher. We told ourselves that we weren’t settling, but maybe we were also lying to ourselves. The other card said that we needed to decide which way would lead us closer to our life purpose and which would lead us away. At the time, I didn’t understand how either decision would lead me or my husband away from our life purpose. But, after the whole not being able to have internet thing, I now realize how that could take us both far from our destined paths.
We now have a bid on the house we had originally wanted in Williamston. I thought I had successfully talked myself out of that house, but I now realize that a big part of me was not only listening to what other people want, but I am also afraid of this house. I know that might not make a whole lot of sense, and I have to think about that a little more before I write about it.
For now, I feel completely out of control with this whole situation. Those who know me best will know this is very difficult for me. As a child, I was tough and always in control of everything I could control. I had to have a sense of normalcy in all the craziness of my world. For a long time, I haven’t needed that. With my private projects, yes, I am still that way. It’s the only way I know how to get things done. But, in my personal life as a whole, I’ve been spoiled. I have a husband who loves me … well, frankly probably more than I deserve. Is my honesty shocking? Well, if I’m going to be honest, I have to say that I am a lot to deal with sometimes. I have crazy dreams. Some people think I am crazy, and they haven’t always been very nice to us because of who I am … because of what I do. We’ve lost friends, and family members don’t always appreciate how “different” I am, but my husband stands by me. When I am scared and unsure, he isn’t. When I lose faith in myself, he restores me. He is my strength, my courage, my soul mate and best friend. He is my guardian angel here on Earth.
So, for a long time, I have placed all my worries on my husband, but these last several months have been different. I have had to find that part of myself that I had buried for so long. It’s not that I don’t still have my husband, but I now need to be strong for him as he still is for me. I need to have faith when his heart is weak. We both need to be equally strong and courageous. Maybe there’s some part of me that doesn’t believe I’m that strong anymore, but I know I am. I have to be. This is surely a test of courage and faith on my part. Freely giving up control over a situation is one thing, but having it taken from you is completely another.
I know my family will find a home. I know we will find where we are meant to be. We will find the best situation for our family, and that might not be the situation other people have envisioned for us. I am upset with myself at this current dilemma because this house we love currently has multiple offers on it. I knew we should have pulled our offer on the other house right away, but we didn’t. I tried to make it work instead. I wasted two days and countless hours on hold with several different companies. We waited too long to write up our offer on the Williamston house. The same morning our offer was submitted, another offer was received. Both parties were instructed to give their highest and best offers. We did so, and now all we can do is pray and wait. If any of you want to send prayers our way, we would greatly appreciate it. 🙂 We should know something by Monday afternoon or Tuesday sometime, so I will keep you all posted of what happens.
Oh, and this is funny … this wasn’t really a deciding factor, but it did cross my mind that the day we went to look at the house in Fowlerville I had a strong feeling we were going to find our house that night. I recently discovered that was also the day that the house in Williamston was cleared to go back on the market! Maybe I misinterpreted my feeling a bit? Any thoughts?
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Thank you, Robin. You’re so sweet! You’re light lifts me up!!!
Thank you for sharing your life with us. I think in some way it helps all of us. I hope that your journey on finding the right fit for you and our family is solved soon. I am sure that it is frustrating not to be settled.
The only comment I could think of is that if maybe your fear of the house has to do with sort of living up to it, or that you are not sure if you deserve it, or that since you are unique and gifted – you have been persecuted and so don’t want to stand out sort of? I don’t know if these are correct. But if it is, maybe reading this will help to see that is not being fair to yourself. You have such a light and gift to share and being in a beautiful house where you feel wonderful can only help everything. It is okay and maybe even your duty to be the best and most wonderful light you can. I may be way off here though!!
I pray that this house journey goes very smoothly from now on. For me I just try to go with the flow and approach things as they happen. There really is nothing you can do when things seem to be so out of your control – perhaps that is the real sign that you are being led and to just kind of go along.
I don’t know if any of this helps. You are the real guru here and I feel funny writing thoughts back to you, but I wanted to at least try to see if I could write something that might possibly help.
I pray that your house journey ahead is smooth and clear.
May you have many blessings,
Hi Robin! You are so very close to my truth in this situation. In the readings I’ve done for myself, I keep getting cards about not settling and expecting more. What you said about not wanting to stand out struck a cord because this house really stands out. I think you can see it from space! 🙂 Seriously, though, the house is huge. I would be able to do a lot of good with that house, but I’m sure it would also make people curious about my family.
This might sound odd, but I hide myself from the public. The teachers in my son’s school know me as a dedicated volunteer who loves kids. I tutor every week and help out in other areas where I can. The parents of my son’s classmates all seem to really like me. They see me as friendly and easy to talk to, but I know all this would change if they became aware of my profession. I live in a very conservative environment. Some of the parents talk about their church groups in the same sentence that they judge another parent walking down the hall. It’s harsh. But, it’s not for me that I hide myself. (Hmmm, that’s what I tell myself anyway. I’ll have to think some more about that, I guess.) The reality is I don’t want my son to be treated differently because of what people think of me. I know I’m a good person. I know some people would be happy with my profession, but others would be critical. I would be whispered about and so would my son. There are people I talk to every single day that have no idea who I really am. Honestly, those who read my blog probably know me better than most. I have been persecuted in this life and others , but that’s something I plan to save my son from – at least in this life and as long as I can.
The words of Marianne Williamson remind me of my favorite writing, “It is our light not our darkness that most frightens us.” It’s not just that I fear people knowing me; I fear my own ability sometimes, and I have more talents than I tell anyone about. Getting this house means I will have to live up to my potential, and that is what I fear.
This fear is the reason I’m having so much trouble giving up control in this situation. I’ve constructed a delicate balance. You’d think for a water sign, I could just “go with the flow”. 🙂
Thank you for your words and blessings, Robin. Please, don’t ever hesitate in sharing your thoughts. If I were really a “guru”, I should always be learning just as much as I teach for that is how true knowledge is achieved.
Love and Blessings,
Well I think that those are very real concerns. You know best what your situation is. So then maybe this is a manifestation of what is going on in your heart. Your gift comes with strings I guess. I am so sorry for what you go through all the time. Sort of living a double life in your head. Amazing to think about. I love hearing about your insights on life because I admire the way you are.
Thank you for all you do,
Wow, Christopher, that is quite a story about your house. It sounds like a blessing that house left your life. Thank you for sharing your story and your insights. The fear I have about this house actually has nothing to do with its energy but more to do with what would be expected of me. I know there is an old woman who lives in this house. I don’t know what period she is from yet, but I sense she is harmless. Whomever ends up with this house should be okay. I myself can’t converse with earth bound energies as easily as I do beings of light, but I can sense the emotions of this woman. The house itself also has good energy. I guess maybe I misspoke about being “afraid” of the house itself. It’s more a fear of myself in this house, but sharing that would require me to share a secret I’m not sure I want to share yet. How’s that for intriguing? 🙂 Sorry to be so cryptic. I’m sure I’ll eventually share my secret. 😉
Sheri – I have read your latest post about the house and what you feel is right for you.
I am intrigued by the words ‘I am afraid of this house’ as it echoes an experience that I have had concerning a property that Rosemary, my wife who passed, and I bought in late 2005. I was not spiritual or aware at the time but I did not want to buy the house although Rosemary loved it as it was her dream house. An indefinable dread, we argued about it and then bought it as i wanted to please her despite my severe reservations.
It is a magnificent Victorian house from the Arts & Crafts period in the centre of Nottingham, UK but it always seemed dark to me. No matter, Rosemary soon set about transforming/restoring the house back to its former glory.
Rosemary became ill within 3 months of moving in and passed very quickly later in the year. She died in the house in her own bed in the house that she adored. Her passing devastated me as she is my twin flame. I then went through a psychic and spiritual transformation which promoted buried memories to surface and one of them was a recurring nightmare that I had when I was young but it ceased coming when I was about 8 years old.
The nightmare was always the same. I am walking up to the door of a big old Victorian house and it is getting towards the end of an afternoon and looking upwards at the building there is no light coming from the windows. I stand before a big brown door and knock but the door slowly opens inviting me in but there is no one on the other side. I step into the large, lofty ceilinged hallway with a large grandfather clock slowly ticking away in the background.
To the left there is a door opening into a living room. The house is quiet, the atmosphere heavy and dark as if anticipating a thunderstorm in summer. As I step into the room, the overwhelming sense is brown – heavy brown velvet curtains at the window but you cannot see the garden, brown carpets and furnishings adorn the room.
Just at that moment I hear a noise behind me and I expect someone to come and find out what I am doing in their house.
I step out into the darkening hallway and the sweep of the stairs beckon me upwards but all I want to do is stand and scream as whatever is waiting for me is at the top of those flight of steps and that is when I woke up ….
The house that I am describing in my dream is the house in Nottingham. The horror at the top of the stairs is the bedroom where Rosemary passed. All in a premonition of 50 years before it happened.
Clearly, my reluctance in buying the property was rooted in that buried memory. Other events came to light after that. The house has a malevolence about it that was evidenced by numerous spirit happenings some violent against me and experienced by psychics who came there. Many refused to stay in the house for any longer than it took to be polite.
For three years I tried to sell it to no avail and when it eventually went out of my life it was repossessed and with it all my invested capital, effectively bankrupting me in all but name. However, when it went I felt an enormous burden being lifted off me despite the financial loss and pain.
Now this is a long story to tell you and I have no idea why but I have also come to know that when I open my heart to give advice it is usually for a reason. My stories usually mean something to the listener or reader.
I do not know you. I have no evidence to support what I am about to say but I feel very strongly that you should be looking at other alternatives and that within 2 days or 2 weeks you will be given a very significant sign that this is a correct sensing.
However, we all have free will and we must make our own choices based on our own intuition and judgement as we cannot lead our lives according to a psychic’s insights! Ha! Ha!
In love and light