The Power of Saying No
Saying yes to people isn’t a bad thing, it only becomes a problem if you really wanted to say no, but were afraid to speak up. Maybe you said yes due to fear of conflict, or maybe it was wanting to please someone else, even though it meant putting your own needs last. But when you match your words with your actions, you don’t jeopardize your integrity.
Saying no to a friend, co-worker, family member, neighbor, client, etc. can feel overwhelming, especially if that person is used to hearing you say yes. It’s understandable to feel a little insecure if you’re not used to saying no. Maybe a friend asked you to babysit on your day off, and you said yes, even though you really wanted to have that day to yourself. Or perhaps a co-worker asked you for help on a project, which later caused delays in your own work. You may have worried the other person would be upset hearing no and get angry with you, so you gave in to avoid any conflict. But do you then hold resentment or irritation deep down? At first it may seem like no big deal, but little by little, this irritation will grow every time you say yes when you mean no.
When I was in my teens, I remember often feeling intimidated saying no. I pushed my own needs down most times because I didn’t want to cause conflict or have anyone upset with me. I realized that every time I said yes to a request when I really meant no, I was sabotaging myself when I put my needs last. After several years of doing this, the energy later turned to anger. I realized I had the power to live my life more harmoniously by having more courage to say no when I really meant no. At first this was a little scary because I was very uncomfortable knowing I was going to disappoint someone. Saying no took practice, patience, and commitment to honoring my feelings, but it has gotten easier over time.
You can say no to someone effectively, yet lovingly. Practicing these scripts may be helpful if you feel intimidated. These are examples that can be edited for your own specific circumstances:
Saying no to a request: “I’m sorry that I won’t be available, I made previous arrangements. Thank you for thinking of me.”
(You don’t have to make excuses or have a lengthy explanation; you simply can say no thank you.)
Saying no to a client: “Thank you for contacting me. Unfortunately, due to a heavy workload, I will not be able to assist you at this time. There are other providers in the area that offer services you are looking for and here is a great directory (if you can, offer list of other providers). Thank you for understanding, I wish you all the best.”
What about saying no to a relationship you no longer choose to be in? Ending any type of relationship can be difficult for both parties, but we all have the right to make these decisions. If you have set boundaries and the other person is not respecting them, it may be in your best interest to walk away, especially if you feel you are continuously being taken advantage of, disrespected, or the relationship has become toxic.
For a relationship that is ending: “I felt it was in the best interest to part ways. I stopped enjoying our time together and I just didn’t feel right continuing the relationship. People often grow apart and I’m truly sorry if I hurt you. I wish you all the best.”
If you are fearful of saying no, you can also call upon Archangels Michael and Raphael to lift fear-based energy from you, the situation, and everyone involved. These healing Archangels can help support your ability to align your actions so they match your values. It’s safe for you to be powerful and take charge of your life in healthy and positive ways.
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