Healing After A Relationship Has Ended
(& How to Move On)
by Rev. Sheri, founder of Angel Messenger
Dealing with the breakdown of a relationship is one of the hardest things in life. There’s almost no one in this world who hasn’t at some point encountered heartbreak. It is only natural to think that just because a certain person left, we will never be as happy again as we were with them. It seems as if it isn’t just this person who has left our life but love itself has forsaken us.
This is the hardest and most important lesson that each one of us must learn: THE END OF A RELATIONSHIP IS NOT THE END OF LOVE.
Healing from a broken heart is not easy but understand what Rumi, one of the greatest metaphysical poets said about it,
“The wound is where the light enters.” You can choose to wallow in self-pity or you can choose to get up and ask, “What is the lesson here, how can I use this experience to become a better person?”
Relationships as Lessons
Society ingrains in us this idea of a perfect romantic relationship. We grow up believing that everything will be hunky dory once our “soulmate” arrives but, in reality, it is exactly the opposite of this that ends up happening.
Soulmates come in our lives not to lull us into a mushy kind of forgetfulness but to awaken us to our Divinity. They challenge who we have always believed ourselves to be or the ways of the ego self – they press our buttons and, at times, they bring out the worst in us.
Shortly after the initial ecstasy of a new relationship starts wearing off, we start seeing the “humanness” of the other person. We realize that they are just as imperfect and wounded as we are. They have patterns, they have issues, they have places of darkness within their own soul that they are afraid to acknowledge or face.
At this point, most worldly people are not able to handle the challenge that stands before them. They turn their back and walk away claiming that they are no longer “in love.” Quite an irony that most people choose to end the relationship at the point where it actually begins.
The Quest for Union
We must understand that love or even a relationship is not about the other person. We are all droplets of water in the same infinite ocean of life. Love is our very nature and our true quest is not to become “One” with another human being but to become One with the Infinite, the Universe, God or whatever else you might choose to call it.
Just like a river runs through mountains and cities, nooks and crannies, to finally become One with the ocean, you are making your way through joys and sorrow, union and heartbreaks, to finally become One with that which is your source.
No matter where you are right now, things are definitely going to get better. Haven’t you been in this place before where you thought that you will never be happy again, you will never meet anyone better, and then, over time, life proved you wrong. It is important to understand that the Universe does not bring to us the people whom we think we need, it brings to us those who are necessary for our maximum growth.
Why Relationships End?
Relationships end at the physical level when they have served their purpose. The purpose is almost always to learn a lesson that your Higher Self deems necessary for your growth. You might not be able to comprehend this with your conscious mind but your Higher Self knows that going through this experience will serve your highest good.
Let Go and Let Love In
The greatest mistake we all make is to cling to a person even after they have chosen to walk away from us. You must understand that to truly love is to let go. Love is freedom – you must release everyone you love from your own agendas. When you leave them free, they might not choose you and you have to respect that.
Understand that physical separation is an illusion, we are all One – we are all part of the same Universal mind just like the cells of your hands and the cells of your legs are not separate from your body. Even when we are physically thousands of miles away from another, we are never truly apart. Every time you are thinking about them, you are creating a psychic connection with them. We all have intuitive powers and we are all constantly communicating telepathically. Yet you must let them go – physically as well as energetically – because there is another relationship, another wonderful partner, waiting for you just around the corner. Once you meet this person, you will realize that they are even better than what you could have wished for, you will have a relationship even more beautiful than the one you shared with your previous partner.
The Alchemy of Healing
You must create energetic space for this new person to come into your life. This can happen only when you shift your focus from hurt to healing. Instead of asking, “how can I get them back,” you have to ask, “What is the lesson here? How can I become a better person? How can I heal myself?”
It’s not going to be easy but it is going to be worthwhile. The more you heal yourself, deeper will be the love you will be able to experience. You have to release and let go of everyone who has chosen to walk away from you. Those relationships ended not because the other person is at fault or there is something you could have done differently. It ended because physical proximity does not serve your highest good any longer.
You came together with this person to fulfill a purpose – to assist them in their soul’s journey but now, it’s time for both of you to focus on your own individual healing.
Once you have truly healed yourself, you will come together with a partner not for a lesson but simply for the joy of love. Shift your focus and put all your effort and energy into your healing because the kind of love you have always dreamed about is just round the corner. You can’t see it until you have truly forgiven and managed to let go of all those in your past that your soul no longer needs.
Much Love & Angel Blessings,
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It’s hard for me to move on when I’m still living with my husband who cheated on me and doesn’t know if loves me. How do I know if this is a phase or if it’s truly the end. We have 2 small children so we are connected and that can cause heart confusion. I’m still not sure if this is a phase or if our relationship has served its purpose. I need a clear direction because if it’s not meant to be I’m ready for someone who truly loves me. How do I proceed?
Thank you so much Sheri. This article opened my eyes. My husband of 22 years left me 4 years ago and I didn’t realize I’ve still been hanging on to him. That would certainly explain why I haven’t had a relationship since. If my heart is still “his”, no new love can come in. I know what to do now. Thank you, thank you!
You just brought happy tears to my eyes, it really touches us when we know that we have touched and helped someone in our community. We are so glad that this article has been helpful. We wish you many blessings as you continue your journey and I believe there is someone out there for us all if we believe and are open to allowing love to enter again. Write down exactly the type of person you want and let God-Source, your angels, and guides know. Believe me, they will work it out for you 🙂