Beautiful Little Child
A Journey to Healing the Inner Child
When I was 4 years old, someone told me that I was evil simply because I had blonde hair. Interestingly enough, I looked very much Native American when I was born – cocoa skin and Jet black hair. By the time I was 2, my hair was as white as paper … and so was my skin.
The person who told me I was evil was told that we had Native American blood in our family line and that our tribe used to believe that when this happened to children, it was because they were possessed by the devil. The child would then be burned or (most likely) drowned as a sacrifice. I have since learned that this was not true of my ancestors, but those words made me shy away from anything Native American for a long time.
In my memory, I can see myself sitting in my little pink gingham Holly Hobbie rocking chair that my mother had made for me. I was sitting in the kitchen directly under a light above on the ceiling. As I rocked in my chair and was told the story, I began to rock faster, feeling those words leach into my skin. I looked up at the light above my head, and the light bulb made a popping sound and burned out.
As I have been on my personal healing journey, one of the most difficult things for me to heal has been my inner child, but I have been blessed to connect with some wonderful people who have aided me on that journey. Through their teachings, I have come up with an idea to begin erasing my past pains.
I closed my eyes and again went back to my memory, rocking myself back and forth in my own rocking chair, and I saw that beautiful little child who deserved to be loved and cared for. I cried for her. I told her that she deserved good things to happen to her … and then I told her that she was a Gift. (Not Evil)
Just that little bit brought a powerful feeling into my heart, and the light on the ceiling didn’t go out. In fact, it got brighter. It got so bright that I shocked myself and opened my eyes.
I was also given a clear understanding of why this person said what they did to me. Even though it was hurtful and should not have been said, this person was operating out of their own fears because of their own past lifetimes and generational trauma.
My heart still feels shielded from this person, but I forgave them because they are truly in essence just trying to find their way through the darkness like the rest of us. However, it might also be important to point out here that forgiving someone does not mean you have to let them right back in to hurt you all over again. Boundaries are really important!
It makes me sad that so many people carry so much pain from their own traumas (from this life as well as others) and without knowing it can cause untold harm – even though that may not have been the intention. Words have power!
If we could all find the beautiful little child within ourselves and begin to heal him/her, I think the world would be a much more beautiful place.
In sharing this, I hope that someone else out there might be able to change some of their own memories from painful to beautiful.
Love and Blessings,
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