Are You Missing Out on the Love of Your Life?
“Is he/she still my soul-mate?”
This is a question I hear often, and there are two things I tend to see. Sure, sometimes people outgrow relationships, but that doesn’t mean they didn’t once have their purpose. The most common thing I see is that the person is simply unhappy with themselves, and, instead of realizing they need to look within to again find happiness, they assume the unhappiness is the result of an unsatisfying marriage. The other thing is that life tends to break us down, and sometimes we forget to build each other back up.
After years and years of marriage and everything that goes along with that (diapers, bottles, carpool, career and personal changes), it’s not abnormal to question if we are still meant to be with the person we are married to. Sometimes people question if they’ve outgrown the other person and worry that their true soulmate is out there somewhere.
First of all, let me clarify what a soulmate is. A soulmate is NOT your one chance at true love, so you don’t need to worry that you’re not going to be at the right place, right time to meet him/her without all being lost. Soulmates naturally gravitate toward each other. Chances are, that beautiful soul you married was once someone you gravitated toward and very possibly is your soulmate.
We do have more than one soulmate, however. A soulmate is simply someone you’ve known in a previous lifetime. Think of all the people in your life right now; there’s a good chance that several of them will also be in your next life.
Just like the saying goes, a soulmate can come into your life for a reason, season or a lifetime. One thing you can be sure of is that, when a soulmate does enter your life, there is always a purpose. If you felt connected enough to someone to marry them, it is highly likely that person is a soulmate to you and is certainly meant to have an impact on your life – good or not so good.
I once had this boss who was literally the worst boss I’ve ever had, but she was probably also a big part of the reason I decided to go full-time with my business. I no longer wanted to work for someone who was unappreciative and downright mean. She challenged me to stand up for myself and claim my own power. She treated me horribly, but I am grateful for the challenge she represented, and I have no doubt that she is one of my soulmates.
Soulmates can be family, friends, lovers, teachers, but they always have a purpose. Don’t assume that your significant other is not your soulmate simply because they look more exhausted than they used to. Instead, maybe consider how you can help your beloved find their true self again. Sometimes we do grow apart and begin to follow different paths, but don’t discount what you have with the person you love now.
Maybe he’s exhausted from dealing with his cranky boss. Maybe she just doesn’t feel beautiful anymore. Consider what you can do to help your soulmate shine before wondering if the grass is greener elsewhere. You could truly be missing out on the love of your life by giving up too soon.
Consider what you can do to create more joy in your life – and your marriage. Do you make time for each other? My husband and I both work at home, but that doesn’t mean it’s easy to find time for each other. It’s actually not so easy at all. We both run our own businesses, and running your own business can take a lot of time and effort. It can be absolutely exhausting in every way possible. No, you have to MAKE TIME!
When it comes to our workday, we consider each other VIP clients. Just like we would for that VIP client, we actually schedule in time for each other. We also schedule out time for our lunches to be taken together unplugged – that means we can’t be checking our phones for email updates while the soup is heating up in the microwave. This small part of our day is dedicated to nourishing ourselves … we eat lunch and chat. Sometimes we do talk about business, if that’s what we need, but the general rule is NO BUSINESS DURING LUNCH.
Now, I know that not every couple works from home, nor is it possible for everyone to schedule lunch dates every day, but I am sharing this for a reason. We certainly don’t have our lunch dates every day. Sometimes it’s just not possible because our work keeps us so busy. That’s why I’m sharing this. As a couple, we are a little more unique than most, so we have to be creative to help things work.
My husband and I met in 10th grade and began dating right before our Senior Prom. Yes, we are high school sweethearts. There were actually several couples in our grade that are still together today – 20 years later! Hmmm, maybe there was something in the water … Do you know how odd that is?
We’ve all heard the horrible idea that 50% of all marriages in the U.S. end in divorce, but I’ve recently run across a few good posts about that number going down. Great news! However, there’s still a bad rep for high school sweethearts getting married because so many more of these marriages tend to end in divorce. I was not able to find any real numbers to share with you, but there is a lot of info available on the topic. Most of the blame for the high divorce rate among high school sweethearts is understandably placed on the fact that these couples marry so young.
We change a lot throughout our lives. Are you still the same person you were at 18? I was only 17 when my husband and I started dating, and I have certainly changed a great deal from the person I was then. I was a super religious, terrified of ever being tardy for class 17 year old girl who was planning to attend college at Indian Wesleyan University. My then boyfriend was a sports fan, not a fan of anything religious, and was planning working part-time while attending a local Michigan community college. Needless to say, things did not look promising for our relationship to those looking in from the outside.
As I’m sure you can imagine, a lot happened to get us to where we are today. We’ve had diapers, bottles, carpool, career and life changes, little league coaching … health challenges, loss of loved ones, bankruptcy … life happens. If you choose to face it together, change together, and come out the other side stronger together, you just might find the person lying beside you at night is the one who will love you forever – the one who is meant to stand beside you for the remainder of this life.
May you find the love of your life!
Founder, Angel Messenger
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