I have recently connected with Lisa Copeland, an excellent dating coach who specializes in working with women over 50. The post below is one Lisa recently wrote in her blog. It’s a question I have gotten numerous times in readings, and I love the points she makes. This article is re-posted with permission. If you like what you read below, I encourage you to check out Lisa at her website … FindAQualityMan.com. Enjoy!
Angel Blessings, Sheri 🙂
I’ve had 5 dates with one of the nicest men I’ve ever met. We get along so well and really enjoy each other’s company. I should be happy I’ve found someone like him but on our last date, he told me about having an affair while he was married.
He told me his wife was never around. When she wasn’t working, she was out with friends or taking care of family. He was so lonely. One night as he was taking the garbage to the curb, his single neighbor stopped by and they started talking.
It was a nice night out and they were having fun, something he hadn’t been having with his wife in a long time. She invited him over for a beer that turned into a lot of beers. They were talking and laughing and he felt really happy for the first time in years.
Long story short, they ended up meeting up on a regular basis and that’s how the affair began. His wife caught the two of them when she came home early and that’s what led to their divorce.
He and this woman tried moving into a relationship but found there wasn’t enough there beyond sex so they parted ways. Now he’s dating but they are still friends. He tells me he feels badly about the whole thing and tells me he never wants to get involved with a woman again who has no space in her life for him. He says if his wife had only paid attention to him, he would never have gotten involved with another woman.
I’m in a quandary. I really like him and he seems like a great man but adultery is against everything I believe in. Plus, I wonder if he will do it again. What should I do? Help. Jean
I wish I could hand you a crystal ball that could predict your future relationship where this man is concerned.
Unfortunately, I don’t. What I can offer you are 3 questions you can ask yourself about the possibilities of a relationship with him.
Question #1… Does this man accept responsibility for having an affair?
From what you described, it sounds like he is placing the blame on his ex-wife for never being around.
An affair happens because something isn’t right in a marriage.
The question to ask him is why he didn’t feel loyal enough to his wife and marriage to work the issues out when he was miserable.
Question #2… Will you always worry about whether he’ll cheat on you?
There is no guarantee this won’t happen again.
Can you trust this man or will a fear of him cheating on you eat you up whenever he’s late or excessively checking his email?
Question #3… Are you trusting your instincts?
Go inside and ask yourself whether this man feels trustworthy to you.
If he does, give it a shot. It may have just been a one-time mistake.
If you feel constantly unsettled by his past actions, he’s probably not the right person for you and in that case, it’s wise to get back out there and date. Someone else is out there who will be a better fit to your core beliefs and values about life.
Lisa Copeland, The Dating Coach who makes dating fun and easier over 50 is the founder of Find A Quality Man LLC. To get your FREE Report… 5 Secrets to Finding A Quality Man and to receive her blog with tips and advice on finding and meeting your own Quality Man, visit www.findaqualityman.com.