Are You Making One of These 3 Dating Mistakes?
Mistake #1…Conducting a date as if it’s a job interview
If you’re like most divorced single women over 50, you’re probably carrying some fear baggage around the idea of failing in a relationship again.
You figure this time, you’re going to get it right so you come up with an exact list of who Mr. Right must be.
And as you sip your coffee or glass of wine, you start mentally checking off the positives and negatives of the man who’s applying to be your boyfriend.
As kids, we gave ourselves the luxury of just hanging out with a guy.
We didn’t make snap decisions in the first 15 minutes of meeting a man as to whether he had the requirements for being our boyfriend or husband.
We lived in the moment and had fun getting to know a new person.
I can’t tell you the number of women who tell me they know in 3 minutes or less whether a man is right for them.
I ask them, “What do you base this on?” and the answer I always get is, “I can just tell.”
I want to share with you that NO, you really can’t tell this quickly.
It takes time to assess who a man really is.
If he’s nice, try going out with him a couple of times.
If after 3-5 dates, you aren’t feeling it, then let him go.
Sometimes, it takes up to 4 dates for things to click.
You have plenty of time to decide if he’s the right one.
Take the pressure off yourself and just enjoy hanging out again…just like you did in your youth.
Mistake #2…Talking about your ex on a first date
This is a huge “no no” for a first date.
Men don’t want to hear the problems you’re having with your ex when they first meet you.
You see, men are designed to fix problems for you. And in the area of ex’s, they can’t.
So it makes them feel inadequate about themselves.
It’s also what gets you labeled as the “Drama Queen” you read about in men’s profiles.
Save ex-bashing for girl’s night out.
They have no desire to fix the situation for you but they’ll spend hours giving you a warm and fuzzy cocktail of compassion and advice.
Mistake #3…Losing your identity to a man
While looking for Mr. Right, hopefully you’ve created a wonderful life for yourself participating in various activities you love and enjoy.
This is an essential for creating the inner glow men find themselves so drawn to.
Yet, when a man comes along do you find yourself giving up your activities hoping he’ll invite you to share in what he’s doing?
Do you stop going out with your friends thinking you’ll go out with his instead?
Do you put your life on hold waiting to see what he’s going to do with his?
When you do this, the inner glow you’ve created starts to become dull and you start to seem clingy and needy as you depend on him to fill what’s missing in you.
What your doing is turning yourself into him and you’re losing what made you so attractive to him in the first place…the life you created before you met him.
It’s great to share life with your boyfriend. Keep the balance and inner glow going by picking and choosing the activities and time with friends that mean the most to you.
This will keep your inner glow going and will always make you appear interesting and vibrant to not only the man but to you as well.
“The Dating Coach Who Makes Dating Fun and Easier after 50!”
© 2013 Lisa Copeland. All rights reserved.
Lisa Copeland, The Dating Coach who makes dating fun and easier over 50 is the founder of Find A Quality Man LLC. To get your FREE Report… 5 Secrets to Finding A Quality Man and to receive her blog with tips and advice on finding and meeting your own Quality Man, visit www.findaqualityman.com.
Really? “Putting out too fast” isn’t anywhere on the list? Not even on #3? lol!