Like a ripple effect, as when a stone falls into still water and expands outward into larger circles, so does our energy. The Mac trucker who smashed head on into Andy’s Dodge Omni stated that Andy appeared to be leaning forward looking for something on the passenger side of his car. Andy raised his body and looked up at the Mac truck in the very last moment before impact, there was nothing either man could do to prevent the devastation and loss of life. It was a year since his funeral, and I was in college.
One evening I found myself in a space shamanic practitioners refer to as the upper world and this to me is ethereal and heavenly. I was in clouds, like Jack who’d just climbed off the tip of his bean stalk. Andy stepped out of a door which hung on no hinges in the sky. My aunt walked out of the door behind him. She shimmered in her costume of a woven gold shirt and dangling gold earrings, looking vibrant and happy.
We smiled at each other, and then I looked at Andy who came right up to me face to face. He stood before me in a t-shirt and jeans, his face relaxed but intense. In life Andy was nearly seven feet tall, yet here we were almost the same height. Andy you’re dead! I seized the moment. Tell me, what happens after we die? He didn’t move or answer. My being went from standing there gazing at his face to one of pure energy instantly pulled forward into the space between Andy’s eyebrows! He remained standing as I shot through his forehead and in to a void-like space.
I sensed a presence to my right side. This energy it radiated love and non judgment. I was in the company of a comforting and supportive observer, powerful beyond measure. It communicated by showing me colorful and emotionally charged picture thoughts. Suddenly I was seven years old, aware and accountable for all my words and actions. I was with another girl the same age and my intention toward her was one of anger and revenge. I told her she wasn’t smart and I called her stupid. I experienced myself trying on purpose to hurt her feelings. Like a magnifying glass, the spiritual connection between us was highlighted. I acutely felt the energetic impact of my words on her emotional body as if they were attacking me also.
I was her experiencing the cruelty of me. It felt extremely painful, intense and tragically sorrowful. I was simultaneously feeling every repercussion of my negative energy on her life with the immediacy of when I was doing it! The energy I was directing to her was a painful negative force I was feeling come back to me tenfold! I shriveled up right along with her dissolving self esteem, aware I had been the attacker. Her loss of self love was a direct result of my negative energy toward her and because this was an act taking us away from the pure love which is God I was spiritually mortified! I even felt decreased energy of plants and pets around her. This was more than simple cause and effect. I became the plant withering from lack of love. I simultaneously connected with all things connected with her as I followed this energy through a string of choices she made while carrying with her the negativity Id sent her. Passed on like a baton in a marathon, I moved like an invisible wave through family, friends and all living around her, tortured by the effect my simple words of You’re stupid! had caused.
How powerful the energy of directed thought is! I believed with no doubt that the biblical, gnashing of teeth and begging for mercy referred to in the Bible as hell was this! I was sobbing, begging for a reprieve, longing to correct the imbalance, and totally solely accountable for my chosen energy directive and I wanted atonement.
There was no judgment from the loving presence with me. I had been shown myself and experienced myself and judged myself. A buffer had been removed and I stood naked within the power of accountability. I realized that hell is a reliving of all we create through our acts of negative intention. Mercy! I have hundreds more of these moments to live through when I die. Each instance feeling like forever, though it lasts a second to re experience, and burning in hell is akin to the burning in the anguish of non loving choices I’ve made.
I would have considered my words toward her as trivial, but wit this new enlightenment I longed for nothing more than to balance the energies between us. With immense empathy and accountability, I longed to heal the mutual pain I’d caused. Could this be karma? Still in the void, accompanied by a loving, nonjudgmental presence, I was 12 years old again. I said to a woman You have a beautiful singing voice.
My compliment was offered with the purest and most positive of intentions, and I instantly felt a positive flow of energy from me to her. I felt nothing less than ecstatic joy and glided through her life like a positive thread of energy, emotionally connected to all things she touched, talked with and encountered both subtle and large. I felt warmth in her heart. I was the warmth in her heart. I grew with self esteem and self love, felt plants around her grow stronger, a content kitty cat on her lap.
My simple compliment became the glow traveling through her life, created energetically first by me, then on though her and to others. I basked in bliss, knowing we create our own heaven just as we create our own hell, and awoke determined to choose each word and action thereafter with love.
Dear sweet Mother Theresa! Imagine the ripple effect your love has created, and the heaven you must have experienced when you died! Because everything is connected everything is affected. Andy is my grandest inspirational teacher about how we transform after physical death. He’s taught me how EMOTIONS are the vehicle through which we learn, and that all life is connected by energy.
Fawn is an amazingly accurate Psychic and Shamanic Practitioner who offers her services here on Angel Messenger. Fawn offers email readings as well as readings by phone and Skype. Read more about Fawn here.