Dealing with Loneliness Between Relationships
Sometimes when we have a dry spell and aren’t dating, we begin feeling lonely and fearful at the thought of being by ourselves for the rest of our lives. We wonder how we will ever fill those empty moments, especially at night and on weekends?
When a relationship ends, it’s so important to get to know the real you again before you start dating. While you’re getting reacquainted with yourself, you begin separating what is really yours from what was your ex’s or your last boyfriend’s stuff. You may find the table you bought together that seemed so right, was actually you caving in to his taste and forgetting your own ideas in the compromise. That is why this time of getting to know you is so important.
You now get to choose what you like and what you love doing!
At the same time, I also know what it’s like to sit at the table eating dinner alone night after night when a relationship has ended. I remember how scary it felt to break up with a man I’d lived with for two and a half years. None of my family lived in the same city as me, so I was terrified at the thought of endless nights and weekends alone. I did ask my friends if I could just come sit in their living room so I’d be around people during those alone times. Every single one of them said yes but not once did it happen.
Instead of feeling like “Poor Me”, I decided to get busy in my life by finding people I could do things with while I was waiting to date.
I began what I later termed a “Single Friends List” so in those moments when I felt alone and wanted to go to a movie or out to dinner, I had people I could call at a moments notice. If one was busy, I moved on to the next person until I found someone who was free.
I began asking friends if they knew any other single women. Since divorce is extensive now in couples over 50, more and more single women are coming on the scene so almost everyone knows someone they can connect you with.
It may feel awkward at first to call someone you don’t know, I’ve been there too. But, what I found was these women were happy when I called. They were sitting at home every Saturday night watching TV alone with their cat or dog since they hadn’t thought to come up with a “Single Friend’s List” of their own.
The value of doing a “Single Friends List” now is you don’t have the emotions of loneliness seeping in when you are trying to find someone to hang out with.
When the alone feeling shows up, your list is ready. You can start at the top and begin making plans right then and there.The other cool thing about the “Single Friends List” is when you do start dating, these women are usually dating too and you will find yourself with a great support system, which is so helpful.
As much as you may love your married friends, and as helpful as they want to be-never having been in your type of situation, they don’t always understand what you are going through. But your new single friends will.
So, get your list made and have fun getting to know some new people. The skills you’ll learn will be helpful when you are ready to find the ‘Quality Man’ your looking for.
Let me know how your “Single Friends List” is coming along by posting your comments below. Until next time-
To Your Dating Success!
“The Dating Coach Who Makes Dating Fun and Easier after 50!”
Lisa Copeland, The Dating Coach who makes dating fun and easier over 50 is the founder of Find A Quality Man LLC. To get your FREE Report… 5 Secrets to Finding A Quality Man and to receive her blog with tips and advice on finding and meeting your own Quality Man, visit www.findaqualityman.com.