Our Hidden Parts –
The Importance of Melding Them Together
Do you ever feel like you are repeating the same patterns in your life?
Shakespeare’s seven ages of man are as follows;
- Puking infant.
- Whining school boy.
- Young, sighing lover.
- The “justice” or upstanding leader.
- The silly old man who thinks he’s still young.
- The super-old man, toothless, blind, and as helpless as a baby.
But as I like to think of it, being 49 I have gone through seven cycles of seven years. A friend said that at 49, at the end of the first seven cycles I have become all I am going to be and that the rest is about just fulfilling that. I am what I am by this point, all lessons learned. In that growth, at every age, I have learned, understood, (or not understood) worked with and around different emotions, stages of being as self and as part of the life, the world around me, the relationships and the body I inhabit. I have picked up a lot of good stuff, and a lot of bad stuff.
At each stage of my journey thus far I have had to navigate my way through and around all sorts of people, events, and circumstances, a lot of which I did because I had to. A lot of which I did without being able to be true to myself. A lot I did with utter confusion because I was new to it and did not understand its workings. A lot of it I did and picked up bad habits along the way, thought processes, and ways of being, just to fit in with other people’s idea of how things were and how I should be.
I believe this is the same for all of us. As we grow from child to teenager, school kid to the worker, lover to parent, responsible for self to responsible for others, living with others to paying our own bills, dependent to independent, formulating our own opinions out of the world of opinions that we were born into. We have picked up shadow sides. Different parts of us that have come about to protect us from everyone else out there, including ourselves.
The unconscious mental life is so important. What you think about yourself will be the ‘truth’ as it were, even though it clearly is not. Take body dysmorphia, for instance, believing that we are unworthy, we do not deserve good things, we are less in some way or another, whether mentally, emotionally, spiritually, physically than another will make us appear to ourselves just that, and we may just be doing thinking this way unconsciously. This does not allow us to access our true potential, or live our true lives. Instead, we will hide, run away, shy away from opportunities open to us. Poo-poo our own ideas. In essence, we think and behave much smaller than we should. We are, as they say: our own worst enemy.
“It is a frightening thought that man also has a shadow side to him, consisting not just of little weaknesses- and foibles, but of a positively demonic dynamism. The individual seldom knows anything of this; to him, as an individual, it is incredible that he should ever in any circumstances go beyond himself. But let these harmless creatures form a mass, and there emerges a raging monster.” – Carl Jung, On the Psychology of the Unconscious.
Our shadow side gets in the way of the fulfillment of our desires, of our life purpose. Along the way of our emotional development, there may be several shadow sides or hidden selves that prevent, and or deliberately block our progress, our joy, our ‘joie de vivre’.
Perhaps it’s a hard concept. But our shadow side loves us. Most, if not all of the time it is there thinking it is protecting us, just as it did as a child, teenager, young adult etc. We came out of the womb as innocent, as perfect, as love and as we grew we had to negotiate our way through what was before us, we divided. We repressed ideas, instincts, feelings to fit in with the ‘norm’ that we were born into. This is not to say we did not have a good and loving time too, we are merely talking about a side of our growth as ourselves which has been denied. Negative beliefs about ourselves which have built up, over time, unawares and inform our daily choices and decisions.
“One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious.” — Carl Jung
We must uncover and accept ourselves, bring our dark side into the light to heal it.
Through the act of meditation, we can realign our shadow selves and merge them into us. They can become one with us and together, now as a whole, we can move forward realizing our fullest potential.
I’d like to walk you through an exercise to help heal a part of your shadow side.
Think about an issue you have that you would like to release, an area of your life you would like to heal. Then sitting up, or lying down comfortably with a straight back to align the chakra centers, take a few minutes. Breathe deeply. We are going to go on a journey to meet with our hidden selves and melt them into us. Ask Archangel Michael for protection then ground into mother earth, right down to her crystal core with the roots from the souls of your feet. Imagine you are sitting on a hill, it’s a spring day, the warmth of the sun is on your back, the sky is blue, the birds are singing and you feel so completely relaxed. Below you there is a beautiful forest with big trees. You decide to go for a walk in it. Down, down the hill you go. Down to the edge of the forest. The air is sweet and you can feel the warmth of the sun on your back. As you stand there deciding which way to walk, you notice a tree which seems to have the shape of a door carved into it. You step close to the tree to investigate. As you tentatively trace your hand around the edge of the door it slowly and gently opens inward to reveal a beautiful garden full of brightly colored blooms. You step through the doorway into the garden. The sights and smells of the flowers enthrall you. For a few moments, you stand at the edge of the garden, deeply breathing it all in. Then, on the far side of the garden, you notice an ornately carved bench. You walk towards it, through the beautiful garden, feeling the warmth of the sun on your back, you are totally relaxed as you sit down on the bench feeling the comfort of the soft warm wood supporting you. Breathe deeply and release all tensions, you feel the essence of your guardian angel surround you, this relaxes you even more as you know you are perfectly safe. Breathe in deeply the scent of the garden around you. Think again about the issue that you would like to release, the area of your life you would like to heal. This shadow self may appear to you as your inner child, a teenager, another physical aspect of you, it may appear as shapes and colors. As you relax more deeply, your gaze settles on a thickly trunked rust colored tree. Ask the part of you that is hidden, that is causing this unwanted issue to appear to you. They might be a little shy, so give them a few moments.
As they emerge from behind the tree, take note of all the details. What do they look like? How old are they? Or what are their color and shape? Welcome them, thank them for appearing to you. Tell them that you want to get to know them. Tell them that you want to heal with them and move forward in a positive way with them. Ask them their name, how old they are. Ask your shadow what is it trying to do for you. Thank it for trying to help protect you, and keep you from pain. Ask your Guardian Angel to please send any aspect of this shadow self-up to the light to be healed. Watch the darkness from the shadow side release and be filled with bright white light coming down from above. Ask your shadow side what you can do for it to feel loved and whole. Tell your shadow side that you are sorry that it has felt bad and that you love it. Tell your shadow side that you will pay more attention to it so you can express yourselves together in a more positive way. Ask your shadow self to come close to you, feel complete love passing between you. Ask your Guardian Angel if he/she has any guidance for either of you. Feel the love. Feel the connection between you and your shadow side as it merges into you.
Thank your Angel for being with you. For all the protection, love and healing you have received. Thank source for the garden, the love, and healing. Get up and walk back to the tree with the door it in. Step through the door, back into the edge of the forest and see the meadow before you. The door in the tree closes gently behind you as you walk back up the hill to sit where you started from, with the warm sun on your back.
Gently bring yourself back to awareness by wiggling your fingers and toes.
You can do this exercise over and visit with many aspects of yourself to heal.
Love and Light,
About the Writer:
Deborah is a working healer with the Healing Trust, which is the working name of The NFSH Charitable Trust Ltd (Charity No 1094702). It is a non-religious organization, the largest and oldest membership organization of Spiritual Healers in the UK. Founded in 1954. She is also a powerful energy healer, Reiki Master & Life coach. She creates a sacred space for relaxation and healing enabling her clients to live a more stress-free and fear free life of joy. The value of positivity in your life can be infinite.
Learn more about Deborah and visit her site: http://healerdeb.wixsite.com/healerdeb
Photo Credit: Deborah Fantham, Our Shadow Self