Realising How Caught Up In the Struggle We Are
Breathe in and out deeply for three breaths. Now try to breathe in and out deeply for a count of four, five more times, but this time, notice what is going on in your head. Look away from this post for a second, look around the room where you are sitting. What is your mind saying? Is it still on the breathing or are you already making to do lists of some kind or going over conversations you have had or will be having? Head chatter can drive you nuts. It drives me nuts, even when we think we are being peaceful and quiet, not busy, your mind is generally still being busy, being noisy.
My mind recently has been really bogged down with the transition of my two offspring from teenage life to adult life , you know, helping them find opportunities that will give them a bit of forward momentum in their lives as I perceive it is time for that ‘next stage’ to be kicking in. Of course, they are not paying a lot of attention to the needs of their mother because they are on their own paths and I seriously need to let them get on with it. I have faith that they will manage their own lives now quite perfectly because they have spent the last twenty years with me give or take, in either case, they have enough emotional and mental tools with which to do just that. Still, I am driving myself nuts with the replay in my mind of all aspects and fears of this transition, over and over again.
The day is a beautiful one. I decide to go for a long walk. One that can last as long as it does. Just I and I, taking a lunch to spend the day in peace and nature, leaving the metropolis behind.
I am walking along, really pleased with myself for taking time out. I check in with my head and it is not empty. As I am looking at the beauty around me, my thoughts are giving me a running commentary on the fact that I am out walking and on the way back I can pop in the shop and get such and such, then the kids will come home and maybe over tea we can talk about… blah blah blah. SHUT UP. SHUT UP. SHUT UP, I thought. Trying to just be was soo hard, thoughts shooting at me machine gun style.
Looking around me at nature I try to distract my other thoughts by thinking look at the leaves on the trees moving in the breeze………concentrate on the birdsong………. how fluffy are the clouds?
Then I realize that this train of thought sparks another subconscious want or need that I have developed and I find myself taking pictures with my phone to upload to friends on social media about my day. I AM STILL CAUGHT UP IN MODERN LIFE, and nowhere near just experiencing what is in front of me, for its own sake. The whole purpose of my walk was to free me from my mind’s twenty to the dozen ponderings but I wasn’t fully immersing myself in the peace, beauty, and quiet of my surroundings.
As I am uploading my pictures, I am getting drawn into the posts of others, sharing a quick opinion, offering a supportive word, leaving a funny one liner etc. It had to stop. “Step away from the mobile Deb, this is keeping you away from yourself,” my inner voice says.
I carried on practicing quietening my mind as I walked along looking at all the astounding beauty that was surrounding me, for at least a couple of hours before I found a shady spot to sit in. Feeling much more peaceful, breathing in deeply, finally content. My phone pinged. I had thought I had turned if off completely but… I had received an email from Chuck Spezzano, (it’s an inspirational card of the day to your inbox) it read;
Healing The Moses Syndrome is the card for today. The Moses Syndrome is where someone has led everyone to the promised land but refuses to enter themselves out of lack of self-value. Healing this brings receiving, self-inclusion, and partnership. Have a great day of harvest and reaping the rewards of your leadership and giving. Have a blessed day!!
When we take the time to ourselves, we need to make sure that we are not merely taking time away from our daily struggles physically. We need to keep an eye on whether we are still carrying them mentally and emotionally. Let them go. It does not make you any less interested in the world around you, you need to feel no guilt. In fact, with taking some time out to allow space in your own mind is more likely to come up with a solution instead of a mind bogged down with constant chitter chatter that has no space in which a solution can form. Also, it is necessary to remember that we are as equally important and as valuable as anyone or anything else. It is perhaps a duty to ourselves, to keep ourselves open to all possibilities by having free space in our minds.
Without taking time for just being, we are not involved in living our lives to the fullest, we are only caught up in the struggle. Being caught up in the struggle keeps us frantic, on edge, anxious, in the future, etc. It stops us from seeing our blessings, enjoying ourselves and relaxing in the now. Like Dilys Gater says: “To be or not to be is not the question, the question is Can You Just Be?”
Love and Light,
About the Writer:
Deborah is a working healer with the Healing Trust, which is the working name of The NFSH Charitable Trust Ltd (Charity No 1094702). It is a non-religious organization, the largest and oldest membership organization of Spiritual Healers in the UK. Founded in 1954. She is also a powerful energy healer, Reiki Master & Life coach. She creates a sacred space for relaxation and healing enabling her clients to live a more stress-free and fear free life of joy. The value of positivity in your life can be infinite.
Learn more about Deborah and visit her site: http://healerdeb.wixsite.com/healerdeb
Photo Credit: Deborah Fantham, Leaving the Metropolis Behind.