Soul Growth:
Becoming More of Who
You Were Created to Be

by Rev. Sheri Spiritual teacher, writer, and founder of Angel Messenger

What does it really mean to grow spiritually?

Sometimes we imagine soul growth as becoming calmer, wiser, more peaceful, more intuitive, or somehow more spiritually advanced.

But I don’t believe soul growth is about reaching a place where nothing bothers us anymore.

It isn’t about becoming perfect.

And it certainly isn’t about proving how spiritual we are.

Soul growth is much more human than that.

It happens as we learn to love more deeply, recognize what needs to change, develop healthier boundaries, become more compassionate, make mistakes, begin again, and slowly become more fully who we were created to be.

Sometimes growth feels beautiful.

Sometimes it feels uncomfortable.

And sometimes we don’t recognize how much we’ve grown until we look back and realize:

I’m not the same person I was before.

Your Soul Is Not Being Graded

Spirituality can sometimes become another place where we put enormous pressure on ourselves.

We think we should meditate more.

Pray better.

Forgive faster.

Stay positive.

Never get angry.

Always recognize the lesson.

Never doubt.

But you’re a human being having a spiritual life—not a soul taking an exam.

There isn’t a heavenly scoreboard measuring how gracefully you handled every difficult moment.

Growth doesn’t always look graceful.

Sometimes growth looks like crying and finally admitting something hurts.

Sometimes it looks like saying no.

Sometimes it looks like apologizing.

Sometimes it looks like changing your mind.

Sometimes it looks like realizing you’ve been trying to carry something that was never yours to carry.

And sometimes growth simply means making a different choice than you would have made five years ago.

Pain Is Not Proof the Divine Is Teaching You a Lesson

This is something I believe we need to be especially careful about in spiritual communities.

When something painful happens, people often say:

Everything happens for a reason.

Your soul chose this.

The Divine is teaching you something.

You needed this experience in order to grow.

Those words may bring comfort to some people.

But they can also cause tremendous pain.

I don’t believe we need to tell someone that abuse, illness, betrayal, tragedy, loss, or trauma was deliberately placed in their path so their soul could learn something.

Sometimes terrible things happen because people make harmful choices.

Sometimes bodies become sick.

Sometimes accidents happen.

Sometimes life is unfair.

Sometimes we simply don’t know why something happened.

And it’s okay not to know.

We can grow after painful experiences without believing we needed to be hurt.

We can create meaning from what happened without saying the painful thing itself was necessary.

There is an important difference.

Growth Can Happen in How We Respond

We don’t control everything that happens to us.

But over time, we may have choices about what we do next.

Perhaps you’ve experienced betrayal and eventually learned to recognize healthier relationships.

Maybe grief made you more compassionate toward someone else’s grief.

Maybe a mistake taught you humility.

Maybe something you survived showed you that you were stronger than you realized.

Maybe losing one path caused you to consider another.

Maybe you finally learned that loving someone doesn’t require allowing them to continually hurt you.

None of that means the painful experience had to happen.

It means something beautiful can sometimes grow from difficult ground.

The growth belongs to you.

Love Is Part of Soul Growth

At the heart of spiritual growth is love.

Love for the Divine.

Love for other people.

Love for creation.

And something many people forget:

Love for yourself.

We often talk about becoming more loving as though spiritual growth requires giving more and more of ourselves away.

But healthy love includes wisdom.

It includes boundaries.

It includes truth.

It includes self-respect.

It includes knowing when helping is genuinely helpful and when we’re enabling something harmful.

You can be loving and say no.

You can be compassionate and walk away.

You can forgive someone without giving them access to your life again.

You can wish someone healing from a distance.

Love doesn’t require abandoning yourself.

Sometimes learning that is tremendous soul growth.

Growth Requires Honesty

We cannot change what we’re unwilling to see.

That doesn’t mean constantly criticizing ourselves.

It means developing the courage to ask:

Is there something I need to do differently?

Maybe you hurt someone.

Maybe you ignored your intuition.

Maybe fear made a decision for you.

Maybe you’ve been repeating the same unhealthy pattern.

Maybe you’ve been so busy caring for everyone else that you’ve neglected yourself.

Maybe a belief you once held no longer feels true.

Recognizing something doesn’t make you a bad person.

It gives you an opportunity to choose differently.

We are allowed to learn.

We are allowed to change.

We are allowed to say:

I understand this differently now.

That is growth too.

You Are Allowed to Outgrow Things

Soul growth sometimes requires letting go.

You may outgrow a friendship.

A job.

A role you’ve played in your family.

A spiritual practice.

A belief.

A community.

A version of yourself.

That doesn’t necessarily mean the thing you are leaving was bad.

Something can have been right for one chapter of your life and no longer be right for the next.

Growth doesn’t always mean adding something new.

Sometimes it means releasing what no longer belongs.

Forgiveness Doesn’t Mean Pretending Nothing Happened

Forgiveness is often discussed as an essential part of spiritual growth.

But forgiveness can become harmful when people use it to pressure someone into remaining in an unsafe or unhealthy relationship.

You can work toward releasing hatred without pretending you weren’t hurt.

You can forgive and maintain boundaries.

You can forgive and still expect accountability.

You can forgive and never speak to someone again.

You can also acknowledge that forgiveness may take time.

Healing doesn’t become more spiritual because it happens quickly.

Give yourself room to move through the process honestly.

Growth Happens Through Relationships

Other people can become mirrors.

Relationships show us where we’re generous and where we’re guarded.

Where we’re patient and where we’re reactive.

Where we trust and where we’re afraid.

Where our boundaries are healthy and where they need work.

Some people teach us through kindness.

Some challenge us.

Some walk beside us for decades.

Others are part of our lives only briefly.

We don’t need to label every relationship a soul contract or assume every person was divinely sent.

Sometimes another human being simply crosses our path.

What matters is what we choose to bring into that relationship and what we learn about ourselves along the way.

Your Spiritual Beliefs Are Allowed to Grow Too

Faith isn’t always a straight line.

There may be things you believed ten years ago that you understand differently today.

That’s okay.

Questions aren’t necessarily evidence that you’re losing faith.

Sometimes questions deepen it.

You can explore.

Study.

Pray.

Listen.

Learn from people whose experiences are different from yours.

Change your mind when new understanding comes.

The Divine is not threatened by sincere questions.

A living spiritual life should have room to grow.

Service Can Help Us Grow

One beautiful part of soul growth is discovering that our lives are connected.

A small act of kindness matters.

Helping someone matters.

Listening matters.

Feeding someone matters.

Encouraging someone matters.

Standing beside someone who is struggling matters.

You don’t need a grand spiritual mission to make a difference.

Sometimes soul growth happens quietly through the thousands of ordinary choices we make about how we’re going to treat the people around us.

Kindness doesn’t have to be enormous to be sacred.

Rest Is Part of Growth Too

We tend to associate growth with action.

Doing.

Learning.

Healing.

Working.

Changing.

But nature doesn’t grow continuously.

There are seasons of blooming and seasons of rest.

Human beings need those seasons too.

You don’t have to constantly work on yourself.

You don’t need to turn every quiet moment into another opportunity for self-improvement.

Sometimes your soul doesn’t need another lesson.

Sometimes you need sleep.

Sometimes you need laughter.

Sometimes you need to sit outside.

Sometimes you need to make something simply because you enjoy making it.

Sometimes you need to enjoy your life.

Rest isn’t an interruption of spiritual growth.

It can be part of it.

You May Not Notice Your Growth While It’s Happening

Some growth is so gradual that we don’t recognize it.

Then one day something happens that once would have destroyed your peace—and you respond differently.

You say no without explaining yourself for twenty minutes.

You recognize a pattern sooner.

You ask for help.

You don’t chase someone who keeps walking away.

You apologize without becoming defensive.

You rest before you’re completely exhausted.

You speak to yourself with kindness.

You stop trying to prove your worth.

And suddenly you realize:

Oh.

I’ve changed.

Those quiet moments matter.

A Prayer for Soul Growth

Divine, help me become more fully the person you created me to be.

Teach me to grow through love rather than fear.

Give me courage to recognize what needs to change and compassion for myself while I am changing.

Help me learn from my experiences without believing every painful thing was sent to teach me a lesson.

When I make mistakes, give me humility to acknowledge them and wisdom to choose differently.

Help me release what I have outgrown.

Teach me to love others without abandoning myself.

Give me healthy boundaries, a compassionate heart, and discernment for the road ahead.

When I need to move forward, give me courage.

When I need to rest, give me permission.

And through every season of my life, help me remain open to becoming more loving, more compassionate, more truthful, and more fully myself.

May the growth within me become light that I can share with others.

Bless it be. Amen.

You Are Already Growing

You don’t have to figure out every lesson.

You don’t have to understand why everything happened.

You don’t have to become spiritually perfect.

Your soul growth is happening in ordinary places.

In the apology.

In the boundary.

In the prayer.

In the question.

In the moment you choose compassion.

In the moment you finally choose yourself.

In what you release.

In what you learn.

In the kindness you offer.

In your willingness to begin again.

Perhaps soul growth isn’t about becoming someone entirely different.

Perhaps it is about slowly releasing everything that prevents you from becoming more fully who you were created to be.

Love and Blessings,

Rev. Sheri

Other Resources available via Amazon to help you grow and change your patterns.

• Loving Yourself
• Speaking Up for Yourself
• Releasing Toxic Relationships
• No Longer Seeking Approval from Others

Other resources on Soul Growth

• Untethered Soul by Oprah
• What Are You Hungry For? by Deepak Chopra
• The Power is Within You by Louise Hay