Sometimes I feel like life keeps pulling me away from the work I’m meant to be doing. Like right now, I feel like I’ve been completely ignoring my blog due to everything that’s been going on in my life personally, but isn’t that how life is?
I’m always telling my husband that he puts way too much on his “to do” list. He creates a list a mile long that he expects to complete in a two day weekend but he needs more like 4 days at least to do it all. He does what he can, and the rest stays on the list for next time.
That’s really how life is, though. Sometimes life prioritizes for us. I love writing in my blog, and my goal is to write at least one post a week, but that doesn’t always happen. I’d love to write three times a week because my blog seems to help more people than my readings do. I can only talk to so many people one on one in a given month, but my blog reaches thousands of readers. Okay, I can’t even think about that when I’m typing … it makes me nervous.
I don’t always get to do what I think I need to do, but does that mean I’m not doing what I’m meant to be doing? It was a comment by a reader that helped me see that. Pat wrote, “You are like Mary Poppins with that umbrella–when the wind shifts, you land exactly where you are needed.” At the time I read her words, my thoughts were more that I felt like the wind was ripping me out of my space and smacking me up against a brick wall … like the tornado. 😉 I wonder sometimes why my life over the last couple of years has seemed more chaotic than anything. How can this be meant to be? I’ve been given the task of helping others to open themselves up spiritually, but my own life gets a regular dose of crazy.
Pats words stayed with me as I sat in the hospital waiting rooms. It wasn’t that I was being selfish saying that I didn’t want to be there for my mom-in-law; I don’t want anyone to get the wrong idea. It was more that I didn’t want her to be sick in the first place. Her family (my family) has been through so much. I don’t even know where to begin … I’ve seen families fall apart over much less. The love Mom and Dad have for each other after all these years and all the trials they’ve seen is something I can’t even explain right now. They are incredible people, and I would do anything in my power to make things better for them. Unfortunately, I’m no miracle worker. I can’t heal Mom’s body, but I can help her in other ways, and so I do what I can.
I am where I’m meant to be when I need to be. That is truth. Even when my family lost our house, and we were moving, life was beyond crazy, and I couldn’t offer any services, I was where I needed to be. I felt terrible because I felt like I was letting people down, but I was where I was supposed to be … surviving in the midst of chaos, praying for a miracle.
We all experience times like this in our lives, and I think I’ve finally come to terms with the fact that I just have to stop feeling bad about it. I have to let go and know that I’ll be there to help who I need to when I need to. I don’t always know best, even when I think I do. 😉 What’s that saying? “Life is what happens when you’re planning other things?” Sometimes all we can do is lay out the bags of sand and hope it’s enough to hold back the flood waters.
Thank you so, so much to everyone who’s been praying for my mom-in-law, Patti. She’s still recovering from last week’s events. Now that her spleen has been removed, the hope is that her blood counts will come back up enough that she can have a liver transplant. Then we wait. Even when you’re at the top of the list, you can be waiting for a quite some time. It’s difficult because she’s already been sick for several years. She’s never been a drinker, and she’s always been a healthy eater, but something else has attacked her liver. Even someone so deserving isn’t guaranteed anything, so continued prayers are greatly appreciated. She still has a mountain to climb.
Thanks for reading. Thanks for praying.
Love and Blessings,
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