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Ask Sheri – Why do I feel this way?

“I am an introvert, who has always had some issues with anxiety and an irrational fear of other people. Regardless, I have been able to cope and be somewhat successful in my career, but I am finding it harder lately to focus on the positive, which is throwing me for a loop. Any insight why I feel this way and what I can do about it?”  – Dan

Dear Dan,

Right away, I feel your empathic nature.  You are an empath.  Depending on the sensitivity of your gift, you can sense the emotions and possibly even physical sensations of other people.  If someone around you has low energy or is down, you will feel the same way.  It’s also possible that having those around you who are constantly ill could bring on illness in you – or at least symptoms.  This is the same idea behind the “sympathy pains” a father feels when the mother of his child is pregnant or going through labor.

Basically, other people affect you in ways you might not understand or even be aware of.  Your anxiety around other people, especially groups, could very well be some sort of internal defense mechanism.  Your intuition could be telling you to pull your energy away from others in order to protect yourself.  Now, I’m not saying that you are in danger of other people or that you should be afraid, but you do need to learn how to cope with your sensitivity.

Pay attention to how you feel around certain people.  Do some affect you more than others?  Do you notice when someone is depressed simply by being near them?  Do you just “know” how a person feels about you without ever having to ask them?  I think things will make much more sense the more you become aware of how you are affected and by whom.  Some people will feel safer than others, and some people might actually make you feel drained.  Part of this is because you are literally sucking up other people’s emotions like an energetic vacuum cleaner, but you’re also leaking energy.  You might be unintentionally giving your own energy away in order to make someone else feel better.

This kind of sensitivity is usually something I see in individuals who’ve experienced some kind of trauma, especially as a child.  They become more sensitive to how others feel, and sometimes that’s even because their own feelings during the trauma where not properly cared for or even took further abuse.  It looks like you are becoming more sensitive than you were – maybe over the last year/ year and a half.  Did something happen in your life?  Did you experience some kind of trauma?

I’ve also seen that more and more people are becoming sensitive in ways they weren’t previously as they begin to ascend into higher realms of consciousness, becoming more spiritually connected and aware.  If you’ve become more dedicated and more open minded to your own personal spiritual growth, that can certainly open up gifts.  Whatever the case may be, you need to learn how to cleanse your energy and take care to protect it day to day.

Empathy is not a bad thing, and I certainly don’t intend to make it seem that way.  In business, empathy can provide an invaluable resource … the “instinct”, it is sometimes called.  Empathy is a gift, and that gift is part of what makes me able to do my job well, but it can get the best of you.  It can make you pull away from people, wanting to hide your shell, only peeking your head out once everyone has gone away.  I get it.  I know.  At least a turtle gets a shell.  We have to create ours!

There are things you can do to help you cope with this energy.  Try a couple of the following:

1. Releasing Cords – energy that continually connects you to other people.  (You can Google this topic or read this other post I wrote about Releasing the Cords that Hold You Back.)

2. Practice Cleansing – You need to be careful that your own energy doesn’t get bogged down with stuff from other people. Open a window to let some fresh air into your home; this does work especially well with cold air.  Springtime air works well, too.  Cleanse your body and your environment with the smoke of white sage.  Get into nature.  Take a white light shower – imagine the shower head in your bath is cleansing you with Divine white light along with the water.  Cleanse your Chakras.

3. Balance and Ground your Energy – Again, get into nature.  Meditation is also important.  If you can’t sit and quiet your mind like a textbook meditation, try a meditative action like cleaning the house, doing yoga, walking, riding a bike, running or even listening to music.

I’m begin guided to share a few crystals that can help you as well …

Black Tourmaline – great to keep in your environment for transmuting negative energy.  Powerful protective stone used for grounding spiritual energy.

Citrine – great for working with and amplifying positive energy within the body (especially the lower Chakras)  and never needs to be cleansed.

Rose Quartz – brings a gentle positive energy to the wearer or the environment.  This stone can heal all Chakras in the body with an energy of compassion and love.  You are being reminded to be gentle with yourself and your needs.

keep your head up, Dan.  Please know that what you have is a gift.  Sometimes it might not seem that way, but it truly is.  The challenge will be to learn how to use it in a way that helps more than it hinders.

Sending you much love and positive energy,


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About Rev. Sheri

Rev. Sheri is an advocate for spiritual growth and education who is dedicated to helping others communicate with Heaven – without the need for an intermediary.

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3 replies
  1. pat
    pat says:

    dear Sheri, it does help.

    it took a few days to sink in, but it does help–as does practicing the “things to do” from the above list.

    I might never learn patience, but maybe I am learning that in any circumstances I still have the choice to change my perspective??? anyway, I can say to you and any other comment readers that I tried the sage smudge and for the first time in as long as I can remember I didn’t feel the overwhelming urge to take a nap after being home for a while.

    thanks so much for your answer, especially in light of the difficult passage indicated in your other post (to which I added my prayers, and from which I took great encouragement upon seeing you do something for yourself with the help of Mona and regain enthusiasm for the next project.

    WOW…spring !

  2. Rev. Sheri
    Rev. Sheri says:

    Hi Pat,

    While feeling empathy comes easily to an empath, knowing how to use it doesn’t always. Some can use empathy to help determine whether or not a person is being honest or what their intentions might be. Knowing how a person is feeling can be a great help in a training or therapy session, helping the teacher or therapist to know when more help is needed and maybe what kind of help is needed.

    When you know how a person feels about others, their surroundings and even about yourself, you can get a much better idea of how to best adapt yourself to work with that person.

    I hope this helps answer your question. 🙂


  3. pat
    pat says:

    aahhhhhhhhh~~~~~~huge exhale and enormous relief at the list of practical reminders…

    thank you, Dan for sending this question and Sherri for choosing it to answer.

    reading this for about the third time leads me to a hope for the sequel, how DO we learn how to use it in ways that help ourselves and others?

    that might be too individual a pursuit to answer here, but it is a big help to even be able to phrase it that concisely, even in my own mind…

    thank you


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