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Ask Sheri – How do I help people see that I have changed?

“Dear Rev. Sheri, I had a reading with you two and a half years ago, and it was a life changing experience.  You saw something in me that no one else has ever seen or known.  You saw the reason I am an alcoholic.  After we talked, I got help.  I have been completely clean for just over a year and was so proud of that, but people still treat me like I’m an alcoholic.  They judge me, and I feel like they always will.  What can I do to help people see that I have changed?” ~ No Name

Dear No Name,

It is a wonderful thing that you were able to move to a place of healing for yourself, and it is unfortunate there are still those in your life that surround you with doubt and judgement.  As you know, a vital part of recovery is support from family and friends.  They are obviously having trouble letting go of the past.

Part of the advice I will give you is to avoid being around those who are negative, and instead surround yourself with those that are more positive and supportive.  However, we need to acknowledge that maybe part of that negativity comes from those people being hurt, and they could only have been hurt if they love you.

When you find yourself being judged, consider having a talk with that person.  Tell them that you are sorry for whatever in the past has caused them to have those feelings.  Tell them that you love them and that you are trying very hard to love yourself, too.  Loving yourself means that you have to focus on forgiveness and the future, and you are letting go of who you were in the past.  Ask them not to be negative around you.  They don’t necessarily have to be supportive and positive, but as the saying goes, “If they can’t say anything nice, they don’t need to say anything at all.”  That negative energy isn’t good for either of you.

On a more personal note for you, please be sure to stay on your schedule.  Keep going to meetings and talking to someone.  I don’t know if you are seeing a therapist, but something you are doing feels like you are.  Whomever you are talking to is helping, and you need to keep seeing that person.  They will be able to give you further advice with this as well. 

Your energy has an addictive personality, so taking away something that you have put so much energy into will mean that you will likely attempt to replace the alcohol with something else.  Make sure that something is a very positive thing or combination of things.  Work with your therapist to make sure future attachments and relationships are and continue to be healthy.   

This same energy can be used for good.  You crave freedom, knowledge and understanding.  You need to be able to experience social connections and explore life, and your energy can even rejuvenate others.  Maybe that is why some people are having trouble letting go of what things were like before; your energy greatly affects others.  You need to feel fulfilled in life, and not finding that fulfillment is what leads to destructive tendencies.  Keep working on your progress, but please keep what I’m saying in mind.  You need to feel you have a purpose in life.

Have a schedule, participate in life’s activities, be accountable to yourself and others, and surround yourself with positive and supportive people.  There may be those that refuse to forgive you and only bring you heartache and pain, which can make it extremely difficult to move on.  This is maybe not be the preferred option, but you may need to let those relationships go – at least for now.  Allowing someone to constantly bombard you with negativity would be much like going to the bar and hanging out with the old crowd, and for you that’s not a good thing.  You are not that person any more.

Please, allow yourself to feel joy and gratitude for how far you have come.  Don’t let anyone make you feel like it’s not a big deal because it is.  Overcoming an addiction is no small feat.  Heaven is proud of you, and you should be too!

Angel Blessings,


About Rev. Sheri

Rev. Sheri is an advocate for spiritual growth and education who is dedicated to helping others communicate with Heaven – without the need for an intermediary.

She is the founder of Angel Messenger, a website that provides free online Angel card readings to hundreds of thousands of monthly visitors. Learn more about Rev. Sheri here.

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1 reply
  1. No Name
    No Name says:

    Thank you Sheri. You are right that I shouldn’t let others drag me back into who I was. Sometimes I feel like I’m living up to negative expectations, and I think you’re right that I have one friend I need to let go of. Others are family, and that means I’m going to have to have a serious talk with my mother. Thanks again because it’s really nice to have someone else see that I am different now. Love and blessings to you for all you do!


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